searching in all the wrong places

Celegorm can be terrifying, ( when he's angry. )

It has occurred to me that I can be much the same. When you become so irrational, so unnecessarily dangerous... *shakes her head* Why does it have to be this that causes me to finally start to say what Lio, Russa, and adar have all been telling me. There is a difference between just anger and an intolerant one like this. I fear what else he has done to the poor girl.

I do find, though, at least part of myself wishing he'd been here for my own murderous adventures. Would he have given me the death I deserved? And I will say to any of my brothers, should they ask, that those who dare to kill the child without first killing me are hypocrites. I deserve death as much, if not more, than this child. I do not regret the lives I took, in fact, I would possibly do it again, if I thought it might help something. (Alas, I don't. Turu just got worse last time and I don't want to risk that again.)


So many thoughts circulating through my head, but I don't want to wake Lio. He'll have to be up and off to work soon enough, anyway. I should try and figure out what I want to say before trying to say it. ( *heads out for a walk...* )