calm_soul: (angst)
[personal profile] calm_soul
Maglor: *still sitting on the bed where she found herself when she woke - clearly Turu's "special" room - her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped about them and her attention focused entirely on the rain hitting the window*

Haldir: *knocks on the door, and it swings open* Turgon? The guards told me I could come in...*wanders around until he finds Maglor on the bed and freezes* O_O

Maglor: *completely lost in thought, sighs loudly, hasn't even realized someone else is in the room*

Haldir: *looks round the room, then back toward the door, then back at her* Sorry...didn't mean to intrude.

Maglor: Hmmn? Turu, you... *looks up* ...you're not Turu.

Haldir: No, the last time I checked I was Haldir, though around here one can never be sure. *frowns* What are you doing here?

Maglor: I woke up here. Which is funny, since I don't remember going to sleep. But I stayed because I'm not ready to go home yet.

Haldir: *wanders on in and sits in a nearby chair* Why don't you want to leave? You have a husband and child waiting on you. *glances around the room for any evidence of cutting*

Maglor: He's not my husband. Not yet. Maybe he won't be. *looks at the window again* It doesn't matter.

Haldir: Sure it does. It matters a lot to him, and from the looks of it, to you, too. Otherwise you wouldn't be hiding in here, moping. What happened?

Maglor: I broke things. It's always my fault. I'm a monster. You should leave before I break you, too.

Haldir: *considers that* You're a wilful Elf with a violent and passionate temper, but a monster? No. And it would take a lot to break me.

Maglor: I've killed greater men than you. And lesser. And I will again, without hesitation. It's a choice I make because I am not, cannot be, good.

Haldir: I've killed, too, and it's a very difficult thing to get past...but what's done is done. Forgive yourself and move forward. As for being good...I don't think any of us are truly good.

Maglor: Russa is good. And Lio. I hate that I have to be the stain on their lives. They can't even trust me.

Haldir: What brought this on? The Maglor I saw a few weeks ago was so very different. What happened to change you?

Maglor: It doesn't matter. You should leave.

Haldir: No, I'm not going anywhere. *leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees* You're like Turu in a way. You so easily block everyone out when you don't have to. I'm here and I'm not leaving. The least you can do is humor me by talking.

Maglor: *looks at him, only half with him* I dreamt of Jack, his sandy hands rough over my lips. I dreamt of Aragorn, who knew me for dead before he ever saw me live. I dreamt of Fingon, tearing me open with his sword. They will never leave me. You should.

Haldir: *is concerned* I don't want to leave you alone in this state. You're not making sense.

Maglor: I'm fine. Turu took my knives. I want them back.

Haldir: *stands and looks at her, still concerned* I know about that. That thing you do. Maybe he's ready to give it up. Maybe you should be, too.

Maglor: He'd let me cut him, if I asked. I won't. I just want them back. They're mine. Curu made one of them.

Haldir: I see. I will ask him when I see him again. *turns to go* You know, despite everything, if you need someone to talk to...a friend...*shrugs* Anyway, I'll go now.

Maglor: I don't have friends. I don't deserve them. *looks at him, actually seeing him for just a short while* Please don't let me hurt you.

Haldir: I don't have any friends, either. *small smile* I won't let you hurt me. I'm stronger than you think.

Maglor: I wish I wasn't so strong... *fades a bit, rain catching her attention again*

Haldir: *nods, feeling an odd kinship with her* Yeah...I wish I didn't have to be. *watches her for a minute, then leaves when she turns back to the window*