calm_soul: (pensive)
[personal profile] calm_soul

(( Imagine this level of destruction... only done to her music room... ))

It's been a bit of a rough day. I just couldn't handle it which is why most of my music room is in pieces so I had to head outside, where I bumped into Russa after dropping Lit off with Ereinion.

Maglor: *wandering through the market, needing to pick up a few things and just not be in the house for a while*

Maedhros: *looking at journals and writing implements*

Maglor: *notices him and sneaks up to give him a tight hug* Russa...

Maedhros: Hi, Kana!

Maglor: Hi. What are you doing? *not letting go... yet*

Maedhros: Just browsing. What are -you- doing?

Maglor: I'm... just getting out of the house.

Maedhros: Oh?

Maglor: *shrugs* It was necessary.

Maedhros: How come?

Maglor: It just was. *trying to change the subject* Have you seen Tyelko lately?

Maedhros: No, not recently, why?

Maglor: Oh, I just know he's been causing trouble already since his return.

Maedhros: What do you mean?

Maglor: He attacked Gaiala.

Maedhros: The girl who...was guilty?

Maglor: That's the one.

Maedhros: Attacked her how?

Maglor: He cut her arm. Marked her with an "M". But refused to do the same to me despite the fact that I am also a murderer.

Maedhros: I thought she was under ada's protection?

Maglor: She is. I don't know what's happened since, really. I mean, I've seen her and she seems okay, but...

Maedhros: But?

Maglor: *shrugs* I have no idea if ada did anything. I don't know if she's actually safe.

Maedhros: How did Celegorm get to her?

Maglor: I think he went to ada's and she just opened the door.

Maedhros: ...Oh...

Maglor: *frowns* He has a temper like mine.

Maedhros: *I love life* And interestingly you hate him...Huh.

Maglor: In all fairness, I hate myself, too. Especially my temper.

Maedhros: *points out* You could try controlling it.

Maglor: I -have-. I -am-. It's not exactly easy.

Maedhros: No, but I've managed, so far.

Maglor: I don't know how. *sighs*

Maedhros: *considers* It helps to not try to control everything.

Maglor: I don't! *pinches her lips together*

Maedhros: *arches an eyebrow*

Maglor: *crosses her arms, head down* I've gotten better about it.

Maedhros: True...

Maglor: I'm not... perfect. You can't expect me to be some angelic creature over night. I'm doing the best I can. Why isn't that enough?

Maedhros: Because you still hate yourself.

Maglor: Which gives you the right to be judgemental?

Maedhros: You said you didn't know how to change. If you don't want suggestions, well. But you just said you still hate yourself. And you ask why it isn't enough? And call me judgemental for wanting you not to hate yourself?

Maglor: I... forget it. *puts a hand over her face* I'm not feeling well today.

Maedhros: *half shrug* Alright...

Maglor: *softly* I'm sorry. I seem to be destructive today.

Maedhros: *nods*

Maglor: Please don't hate me.

Maedhros: I don't hate you.

Maglor: Good. *goes to hug him*

Maedhros: *hugs her back*

Maglor: I just need one person on my side, that's all. *tightens her hold* Just one.

Maedhros: I am by your side. Haven't I always been?

Maglor: Yes. I'm sorry.

Maedhros: *pecks her hair*

Maglor: *softly* I broke things again. Because I can't control myself. But knowing I still have you makes it better.

Maedhros: Maybe you should come by sometime. I'll cook for you.

Maglor: I'd like that.

Maedhros: I'll even clean up. Or Ambarussa will.

Maglor: They are good for that, at least.

Maedhros: Give me a date. And a dish, if you like.

Maglor: I... don't know. Things are a bit shaky right now.

Maedhros: Well, sometime. When you're free.

Maglor: Free? *laughs at the word* Oh Varda, that may be soon...

Maedhros: Are you breaking up?

Maglor: I don't know. He's never been angry at me like this before.

Maedhros: All couples have spats.

Maglor: And it was for something I can't control.

Maedhros: ...I see.

Maglor: *a bit flustered, unclear* He causes all these memories in me whenever I see him and it takes every ounce of will I have not to rip his head off every time. It scares me. I don't know how to stop it.

Maedhros: *cocks his head* Who?

Maglor: I told you. Theoden. *frowns*

Maedhros: *shakes his head* You just said "he".

Maglor: I'm sure I... *seems lost in thought*

Maedhros: ...*waits*

Maglor: Maybe it was a different conversation?

Maedhros: Maybe.

Maglor: It's been a long day. I'm confused.

Maedhros: You should rest.

Maglor: Soon enough. *just doesn't want to go home*

Maedhros: *nods*

Maglor: But I've held you up long enough. *kisses his cheek*

Maedhros: Come by sometime.

Maglor: I promise. Make me toffee tarts.

Maedhros: *chuckles* I will.

Maglor: But not too many. I may yet have to put on a wedding dress.

Maedhros: I'll give the leftover to Tyelpe.

Maglor: *nods* I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Maedhros: *nods*

Maglor: *one more quick kiss* If you happen to see Lio, tell him I'll be home when I'm ready to be.

Maedhros: Alright....

Maglor: I won't be getting into trouble. Just staying out of it.

Maedhros: *hugs* I hope so.

Maglor: Love you. *nuzzles* But I need to disappear completely for a few hours.

Maedhros: Love you too, stop forgetting it.

Maglor: Sorry. *small smile*

Maedhros: *pecks her forehead*
































































































After that, I went for a very long walk. I just... I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go, right now, but I know I can't go home yet. Maybe I'll just walk all night.
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